Many parents wonder how they can help their baby or toddler develop healthy sleep habits. And how do babies and children learn to fall asleep and stay asleep as gently as possible?
One very effective approach is the CLA method ("Cry in Loving Arms"). The CLA method is not a traditional sleep training method in the strict sense. However, it can be highly effective in promoting better sleep and longer sleep stretches. The name and implementation of this method are my personal adaptation of attachment-based and developmental psychology approaches to improving sleep issues in babies and toddlers.
CLA as a Sleep Learning Method
The "Cry in Loving Arms" method is one of the most attachment-oriented sleep-learning methods available.
It is based on the work of developmental psychologist Dr. Aletha J. Solter, founder of the Aware Parenting movement, which is closely related to the Attachment Parenting philosophy.
In essence, CLA means that you stop exhausting and nerve-wracking distraction and soothing maneuvers for sleep altogether. Instead, you hold your child calmly in your arms, allowing them to express their emotions through tears and release any pent-up distress. This often leads to improved sleep and longer sleep cycles.
Developmental Psychology Insights
To understand how the crying-in-arms approach works, it is necessary to understand why babies cry. Crying has two important functions: communication and healing. Everybody knows that babies cry to communicate basic needs such as hunger, coldness, or the need to be held. But the healing function of crying is not as widely understood.
Babies sometimes cry in order to heal from stress or trauma, even when all of their immediate needs have been met. Studies have shown that babies in all cultures cry for no apparent reason, and that this crying typically peaks at six weeks of age. The term "colic" is used when the crying seems excessive, but studies have shown that the majority of "colicky" babies have nothing wrong with their digestion. This crying often represents an emotional healing process.
Many babies continue to have crying spells well past the typical period of "three-months' colic." They may cry following over-stimulation or out of frustration before developmental milestones such as crawling or walking. Temperament also plays a role — highly sensitive babies cry more than those who are less sensitive.
This stress-release crying represents a normal and beneficial healing process. When babies are left to cry alone, they feel terrified, and their cortisol levels increase. However, there is no research indicating that crying in a parent's loving arms increases a baby's stress hormone levels or harms healthy babies in any way (assuming all immediate needs have been met). In fact, studies have shown that stress hormones are excreted in tears, and that people have a lower pulse rate, lower blood pressure, and more synchronized brain wave patterns after a good cry.
How the CLA Method Works in Practice
According to Dr. Solter, there are many reasons why a baby cries. She believes that a baby older than six months who wakes up multiple times at night may be trying to "catch up" on stress-release crying or seeking emotional healing.
In this sense, the CLA method focuses on not interrupting these crying and healing attempts and not immediately trying to get the baby back to sleep. It also avoids automatically offering the breast, pacifier, bottle, or rocking as a solution and distraction. Instead, the baby is calmly held in loving arms, accompanied by understanding words, and allowed to release their tears, frustration, or accumulated stress.
Personal Experiences
Especially in babies who tend to cry a lot or have experienced difficult births or pregnancies, it is remarkable to observe how they reach a new level of relaxation, satisfaction, and improved sleep through CLA. However, I also see excellent results in other babies. CLA is probably my personal favorite method for helping young babies sleep — both with my own children and in my work as a sleep consultant.
These days, it is often said that nursing or sucking is the right response to every kind of restlessness. As a result, I frequently hear mothers say they feel like their breast has become a "pacifier," even when the baby is not hungry and their back already aches from constant night nursing. This is where CLA comes in, offering a loving, deeply connected, and attachment-based approach that often brings relief for the entire family.
I can truly say that the CLA method and the understanding behind it have changed my life. In sleep consultations, I regularly see that CLA is one of the most effective methods for young babies, especially between 4–7 months of age. Many parents find it the easiest method to implement with a clear conscience because their baby is supported with physical closeness and deep emotional connection.
Unfortunately, as a sleep coaching method, it remains relatively unknown. Interestingly, it is often used in "Emotional First Aid" counseling centers for high-need and colicky babies.
At Land of Little Dreamers, we have made it our mission to systematically inform parents about CLA and provide a clear methodology and structured approach. For more information and insights on how to improve your baby's sleep, don't miss my free email course.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is the CLA method?
CLA stands for "Cry in Loving Arms." It's an attachment-based sleep approach developed from the work of Dr. Aletha J. Solter. Rather than using distraction or soothing techniques to stop a baby from crying, the parent holds the baby calmly and lovingly, allowing them to release pent-up stress and emotions through tears. This emotional release often leads to improved sleep and longer sleep stretches.
From what age can I use the CLA method?
The CLA method can be used with babies of various ages, but it tends to be most effective between 4 and 7 months. This window is ideal because sleep habits are not yet deeply ingrained and babies typically protest less than they might at an older age. Many sleep consultants also see excellent results with the CLA method in newborns who cry excessively.
How is the CLA method different from cry-it-out?
The CLA method is fundamentally different from cry-it-out. In cry-it-out approaches, babies are left to cry alone until they fall asleep. In CLA, the parent is present throughout — holding the baby, making eye contact, speaking comforting words, and providing full emotional support. The baby is never left alone. The goal is to allow emotional release in a safe, connected environment, not to train the baby to stop signaling their needs.
How long does the CLA method take to work?
Results vary, but many parents notice improvements within a few nights to one to two weeks. The CLA method works by addressing the underlying emotional tension that disrupts sleep, so once a baby has had the opportunity to release accumulated stress, sleep often improves noticeably. Consistency is key — it's important to stay calm and present throughout the process.
Can I use the CLA method while breastfeeding?
Yes, CLA is fully compatible with breastfeeding. In fact, CLA is often particularly helpful for breastfeeding mothers because it offers an alternative to nursing as the automatic response to every form of restlessness. Instead of always offering the breast to stop crying, the CLA approach allows your baby to release stress while still feeling your closeness and warmth — without creating an even stronger nursing-to-sleep association.
